My Visitors

PTEC SDA Tongan Community Gifts

My 31st of August entry where I thanked friends and family for their visitations to me have been revisited many times for updating. In fact, I think I need to keep updating the schedule for each update so that the date is also updated.

I marvel at how I have been overwhelmingly blessed since I got sick to be able to spend quality time with a wide range of people from a variety of backgrounds and to experience love being demonstrated through the sacrifice of time, and gifts, prayers, empathy and care.

Many of my close friends and former colleagues have visited me multiple times and I receive regular calls from overseas friends and family who check on how I am doing. This is really the reason that I felt the need to write the earlier entry to provide them with some details of the progress of my experience.

On a positive note,  despite the progress of this condition, I was able to attend church on the 15th &  22nd, September and pray to be able to attend tomorrow's special service as it will be the last communion service with the PTEC family for this year.

Dealing with the symptoms

I have continued to get the chills before the onset of pains but I hasten to add that the intense pains have not been as regular. 

However, in the last couple of weeks I have observed my stomach grow and in addition to that the growth appears to be around my waist and lower back. We have good laughs about the 'new' shapes my lower torso has been taking. Since I can no longer lie on my sides the back has begun to get shaped by the special cushion I sit or lay on. It is amazing to observe how the body changes its shape and  I am sure one of the contributing factors would be the fluid retention and perhaps growth of the 'mass'.

I have observed in the last week or so that I cannot eat too much because at least 20-30 minutes after eating a meal I feel a tightening of my stomach and then discomfort and sharp pains. As I write this entry, I have a half filled glass of mango juice which looks so tempting but because I am currently feeling the after meal pains, I will need to wait until they subside before drinking it.

Another observation I have had and this has been for a few months now is the swelling which occurs every night to my upper thighs and the pelvic area. Usually it wakes me up as I feel very stiff and swollen. During the day this problem subsides and that is even with bed rest and my feet being elevated. 

The other night it happened, I woke up and went to the kitchen to fill my hot water bottle. Not a soul in the house heard me and I did not have the heart to wake them as their snores signified their deep sleep.

I did go to hospital for a tap but a few minutes into the procedure I felt much discomfort and the staff nurse removed everything off me. When the doctor finally arrived to check whether I would like the procedure continued on another side, I decided that it was late and I did not want to sleep in hospital. I have been home since that last visit, just taking panadeine forte on a 6 hourly basis to manage my pains.

More reflections

My dear husband, Waisea has been at me for a few days now after having spent time reading through my whole blog. His gripe is about the fact that I still have not dealt with the possible causes and indicators which would be important in raising awareness for any woman out there interested in her own health and how best to prevent herself from getting ovarian cancer. In an earlier post, I provided a website which gave some information on the risk factors and symptoms. A girlfriend of mine who visited last week asked me how she could prevent herself from getting ovarian cancer and whether a pap smear would do it. I had to inform her that a pap smear would NOT detect ovarian cancer and that was something I had consciously done regularly anyway.

So what were my risk factors?

• Having a family history of cancer.
• Being post-menopausal, only in my case it was diagnosed earlier than most women who generally have theirs diagnosed after the age of 65. 
• Use of talcum powder between my thighs after my bath since I was a teenager. Studies have shown that this is not good as these powders have carcinogens in them. (http://www.naturalnews.com/029602_talcum_powder_ovarian_cancer.html) I only came across this information after my diagnosis and when doing research on ovarian cancer.

 My symptoms included:

• bloating.
• abdominal pains & pelvic pains.
• pain during sex.
• urinary urgency and frequency especially towards the end when I was diagnosed.
• just before diagnosis I began to notice that I fatigued easier, particularly in the evenings.

The Divox Accapella Group Visit

When they first heard that I had been diagnosed with cancer they called Tulagi to ask if they could come and visit me. At the time,  I was still going to work and going through life as usual and asked Tulagi to tell them that I was fine and that they could come later. They did not forget me and followed up on their request to visit yesterday. When Tu came in to inform me about their desired visit I was moved by the fact that this was a group of young people who were coming to express their love for a mother of one of their friends.

They arrived just on 7pm, last evening. In their presentation, they explained their connections to Tulagi through "Pacifica Voices" saying they were family and went on to apologise for their tardiness in coming to visit. They then went on to give an overview of what they planned to do during their visit before singing a few accapela inspirational songs. This was closed with a powerful prayer by Ben Narube.

After the formalities were over we spent some time reminiscing  on some of their performances that we had watched. I loved Tura's account of his performance with the Niuean students when his 'sulu' fell off and how he was unaware of it... that set everyone into spontaneous laughter. I know everyone at home was blessed by the visit and the expression of Christian love shared by a group of five young men who I wish to thank specially in this post. To Tura Lewai, Ben Naruma, Chris Cokanasiga, Ben Koroijiuta and Peter Cokanasiga, thank you so very much for your visit, every aspect of it was special! This was topped off further by the specially thought out things you bought to share with me. We must apologise for not noticing the long loaves of bread until after you had left. Eating them with you would definitely have added more time to your visit and to the fun stories we would have been entertained by. It is my earnest prayer that our dear Lord will continue to shower you all with His blessings in your professional, educational and personal journeys. God bless you, All.

Educating yourself on ovarian cancer

In many of my discussions with people who have known other people who have suffered from cancer here in Fiji when asked what form of cancer an individual had, the general answer given is "cancer ni kato ni gone". When this is literally translated it means, cancer of the "baby bag". Since my diagnosis in November last year I have basically done my own research to try and understand the progression of this type of cancer and what would need to be done to deal with each stage.

For all my friends out there, I have tried to share information which would be useful to you in this blog to help raise more awareness of the symptoms so that you get help well before it is too late as has happened in my situation.

This site is quite informative and would be good to read and explore: http://ovationsforthecure.org/aware/aware_facts.php

My 'Better-Half' - is one of my heros

Many people must wonder what it is like for that 'special other person' who travels the journey with someone diagnosed with cancer. To be honest, I cannot really say because I know much of what I observe is an outer strength, helping me deal with each new challenge many of which is new to us both. 

When I think about the last five weeks since getting really sick and being stuck in bed, I realise how much pressure he has had to bear. There are the demands of his work where he teaches 3 courses, (a 100 level, a 200 level and 300 level). For the average lecturer this is a heavy load and on top of this there are the other responsibilities which come with the job. I don't think I could have handled this even under ordinary circumstances and am grateful to his colleagues in the department who have been supportive during this time. I watch as he takes his work out at night to mark assignments, to do his readings and preparations and am thankful as well to our heavenly Father for the blessings He has given in keeping him healthy and giving him strength to get his work done.

My 'bad days' must be a challenge for him, I know he usually has to reshuffle plans to squeeze in moments to be with me. Like many other men he bears his load as a responsibility and does not have the time to share it with anyone, except our Heavenly Father. I hear his prayers when he is with me and am aware of his despair at times. There are so many other things he now has to shoulder but desiring to keep me happy is usually at the top of his priorities. I see his pride and happiness when Eli is around but also recognise that his sore knee is getting the better of him and lay here in bed wishing I could be the one running around after him.

Despite his tiredness, he gets up most evenings to administer my pain killers, to fill a hot water bottle when the pains set in, to hold my hand and pray with me, to sit and rub my feet because they are cold, to even play with my hair to help me sleep.

I know one thing, he has never given up hope of my recuperation, he continually thanks God for my good days, when I am able to eat a substantial quantity of food he praises God, he tells friends and relatives that we are travelling to Sydney at the end of the year and I can only thank God over and over again for His precious gift to me. I don't know how other men have coped having a wife diagnosed with a terminal illness, but it definitely would not be easy, psychologically, emotionally or physically for that matter.

Waisea, my soul-mate, the father of my children and grandfather of my grandchildren, I thank God for your life and your love.

Cherished moments - Quality Family time

Yesterday was Sabbath and the Vanuatu Students visited to fellowship during sabbath school 'time'. Although most of our family have gone back home the time was special just singing hymns and praying together and listening to a message of challenge from Brother Willie Luen. My thoughts were with the families who had returned home as well.

After lunch, the family ended up lying together on the sitting room floor in a circle. There was Tanya, Roger, Moira, Rosie, Richard, Mum, Pate, Mafa, Tulagi, Wais and Eli being the occasional distraction. I was blessed by this time, looking down at the circle from the lounge suite I was lying in. There was a peaceful atmosphere, everyone just enjoying each other's company, letting the scrumptious lunch digest and waiting for TL Joe to come in and close the Sabbath.

After the close of sabbath there was an air of excitement as everyone started talking about the truck ride to Deuba to have a picnic with their special cousin, niece and granddaughter, Tanya before she flies back to Canada.

Although I am here in bed, I just know what joy the family would be having, soaking up the wind and sand on the beach there in Deuba. Packing the essentials for previous picnics was usually my job so this was done after breakfast by calling off a checklist: chillies, salt, tomato sauce, a ball, the tarpaulin, the tent for Eli and of course the food and drinks. 

I look forward to the fun stories when they all return and pray for their safety and enjoyment while they are at the beach.